i'n back. my mom like, watched me eat for a long long time. she wouldn't let me skip meals. check up on me at school. all that. i'm at 135 again....

but, ana's still in me and i'm going to loose again.

so today i'm on an all liquid fast, because of yucky thanksgiving. ugh. so all water and diet pepsi for me today...

i wanted to be so thing you can see my bones - i want beautiful bones. i want to just waste away in front of my own eyes and see the beauty of thin.

i am so messed up.

today - liquid fast.

- crystal light [15]
- propel [25]
- water [0]

hopefully that is my day. i WANT TO FUCKING waste away.

*plan*

October 30, 2005 ~> 123-125
November 10, 2005 ~> 121-119
November 20, 2005 ~> 118-115
November 30, 2005 ~> 115-113
December 10, 2005 ~ > 113-111
December 20, 2005 ~ > 111-108
December 30, 2005 ~ > 108-105
January 10, 2006 ~ > 105-103
January 20, 2006 ~ > 103-100

that looks good. i want to be 100. RIGHT NOW.

i am writing 100 on my wrist in permanent marker today. hopefully it will help me not shove my fat face with food.

i can`t update until tomorrow night, most likely. tonight our football team (that is 6-0) is playing the other team in our conference that is 6-0, so we haev to go down to the school, 2 hours away, to cheer at it.

no forced dinner, that's the good part. i'll eat as little as possible. i want to look good in my uniform.

<3

today i had around 200 cals. 250 max - and i feel so fucking fat. wtf. i meant to fast -b ut nooo. damn tortilla chips.

tomorrow i will fast FOR SURE. i promise i will have NO FOOD.

ew yesterday was bad - mom forced me to eat dinner. but today and tomorrow i have no one watching me eat any meal of the day, so i'm going to liquid with no calorie fast for today and tomorrow. if i'm soo weak tomorrow, i'll have fruit, that's it. i didn't gain thouigh, from that normal meal i had yesterday. i stayed exactly the asme. better than i had hoped.

yesterday i went shopping and got a new pair of jeans - sieze 4! hell yes. i used to be a size 6 or 8 - but now i'm a 4! workin my way on down...i just want to be a 2. a 0 would be nice, but i think my hips are too wide no matter how tiny i am.

yesterday i also got my cartilage pierced! it looks so cute! comment if you have any questions about it because so many people ask about it lol <3

good luck today girls <3